The Red Room: Memories
by divergentrookie
Summary: Skye is a Red Room assassin. She was trained to keep her past in the past. But she always needs to remember important things. The lesson she was taught. After all, those are the lessons that kept her alive.
1. Chapter 1

Hello. My name is Chloe Wang. I am a Red Room Academy assassin. Just like the great Black Widow. Except I am more loyal and more lethal. I do as I am told without question. I am trained to be the best. I am trained to win any match. Any battle. Any war. All those in my way destined to loose.

I am trained by the best. By the most dangerous. I am trained to kill. I am trained to infiltrate. I am trained to convince the unsuspecting.

My "beloved" parents died in a fire in China. I was three. A Red Room assassin was assigned to eliminate my parents for good since they ruined some of their operations. The assassin took pity on me and took me back to Russia and trained me along with her fellow trainers.

The assassin's name is Alexzandra Dmitriev (Александра Дмитриев). I owe her my life. Without her, I wouldn't be the kind of person I am today.

I don't have many memories of my parents since it was Alexzandra who was my mother figure.

I don't have many memories of me as a kid, but from the stories I have heard from Alexzandra, I was a very annoying child.

Here is one of my favorite stories of when I was a little kid.

Ever since Alexzandra took me in, I saw fighting. I've seen her train other kids and I've seen people just break out in fights for no apparent reason.

One time she brought me down to the training area so I can see how everything is run because I would start training soon. It was the first time I met the Winter Soldier.

He was a funny looking guy. One metal arm while the other was normal. He wore goggles that were covered by his hair. The long hair that came on top of his eyes always bothered me. I have always (and still do) wondered how someone could possibly fight so well with hair covering their eyes.

When I first walked in, every assassin-in-training turned to look at me. According to Alexzandra, it wasn't every day you saw a three year old who hasn't began her training walk in. I walked in to see The Winter Soldier showing the newbies how to punch and kick properly.

Alexzandra sat me down on the side so I could watch. I was impressed by how well and how precise every single move was. They hit the punching bag at the same exact time with the same exact force. It was amazing how synchronized they were.

Later, after training, once every newbie left for bed, Alexzandra and The Winter Soldier led me to a punching bag and told me to hit it. I, of course being the good girl I am, hit the bag trying to imitate the moves the older kids were doing. Alexzandra and The Winter Soldier stood back and watched me fail miserably. From what Alexzandra told me, I was doing well and was successfully hitting the bag, but I think she just said that so I wouldn't feel bad.

After a few minutes of watching me, The Winter Soldier stepped forward only to be held back by Alexzandra. "Подождите. Пусть она это исправить самостоятельно (Wait. Let her fix it by herself).'' Since I was used to Alexzandra specking in Russian, I understood. I immediately started shifting around finding a more comfortable stance where I could move around more freely. At one point, I fell right on my butt because of the lack of balance.

Alexzandra said that my eyes started watering but, she said that I never let a single tear shed. She said that I just got back up and began punching that bag harder. This time when The Winter Soldier went to help me, Alexzandra didn't stop him.

The Winter Soldier kneeled down next to me and moved my foot a little to the side and a little back. He raised my elbow few inches higher. "Теперь ударил его (Now hit it)."

I threw a weak punch at the punching bag. "Тяжелее (Harder!)!" he ordered. I threw a punch that moved the punching bag a bit more. This clearly satisfied The Winter Soldier because he smiled, which he never does. He got up and motioned Alexzandra to fix anything she deemed needed to be fixed.

Alexzandra took two long strides towards me and bent down looking at me in the eyes. I know that I must always look at Alexzandra, or anyone, in the eyes. That was the first lesson she taught me. She always said, "Люди, как собаки. Посмотрите им в глаза и показать им, что вы их не боюсь. Глядя в сторону является признаком слабости (Humans are like dogs. Look them in the eye and show them that you are not afraid of them. Looking away is a sign of weakness).''

"Вы делаете хорошо ребенка. Фокус. Он будет держать вас в живых. Хит мешок снова (You are doing well child. Focus. It will keep you alive. Hit the bag again),'' she said quietly. I obeyed.

I punched the bag harder. I never stopped. Once and a while, The Winter Soldier and Alexzandra would come and fix my posture, but usually they would just let me figure out the techniques myself. Each day a new lesson was taught. A new lesson was learned. Every day went by like this. In each training session, I would be taught alone. It was said that I was ahead of the other children my age, but who cared. It just proved my devotion to the Red Room. The Red Room made sure that I was the best. They taught me how to survive. How to lie. How to make my opponent miserable. The Red Room enhanced my physiology, strength, speed, agility, reflexes, durability, senses, resistance, immune system, and longevity. The Red Room also helped me discover many of my abilities today. Because of them, I am a master martial artist, expert acrobat, expert marksman, multilingual, gifted intellect, graceful dancer (Alexzandra taught me since she loved dancing), expert tactician, talented hacker, master seductress, and an expert spy. My trainers made sure that I was the best to ever come out of that academy.

Alexzandra taught me how to focus. Alexzandra taught me the life lessons I would've never learned myself. Alexzandra taught me that I always had to get my hands dirty in order to get what I wanted. She taught me that hard work is always rewarded. I have always followed those lessons without hesitation…because it is Alexzandra's lessons that have made me perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

Training for anything takes a lot of time. Everyone knows that. No matter how easy something is. Yet, Alexzandra taught me one thing, which I couldn't agree more on: Nothing in life is easy. If the task is easy, you are doing something wrong. Do something wrong…you die.

After ten years of training under the best trainers, the Red Room sent me on my first kill mission. If you can't make your kill, you die. The Red Room sees no use of your service and kills you. After all, taking a life is totally different than shooting at a piece of paper.

My task was to kill a thirteen year old kid in cold blood…in China. I didn't know a single thing about this kid except that he was my age.

Right before I had to leave, I walked up to Alexzandra and asked, "После того как вы убить человека, вы можете забыть их (Once you kill a person, you ever forget them)?"

Alexzandra smiled softly and answered, "Хлоя, ты никогда не забуду лицо вашего первого убийства. Вы всегда будете помнить свои глаза. Как страшно они выглядели, когда они понимают, что они умрут. Вы всегда будете помнить свое лицо. Как они выглядят, как они пахли, как они себя чувствовали. Вы всегда будете помнить, как вы убили их. После первого убийства, вы всегда будете видеть их лица на каждой мишени после них. Вы никогда не забудете их. Их душа будет преследовать вас вечно (Chloe, you will never forget the face of your first kill. You will always remember their eyes. How terrified they looked when they realize that they will die. You will always remember their face. How they look, how they smelled, how they felt. You will always remember how you killed them. After your first kill, you will always see their faces on every target after them. You will never forget them. Their soul will haunt you forever).'' I saw her eyes loose the normal fire they held as she remembered her first kill.

That look scared me. The look of Alexzandra gave only when she was lost. I saw what death did to Alexzandra. I did not want to experience it. But I had no choice. I had to get accepted into the Red Room. I just had to.

When it was time to leave, Alexzandra said once thing, except it was not in Russian like all of our other conversations. It was in Chinese. My native language. "下巴了我的孩子。生活只會變得更難。(Chin up my child. Life will just get harder.)"

I nodded. On my whole journey to China, I only thought of those nine words. Even though I was only three, I can vaguely remember my parents always telling me those very words.

That was the moment when I vowed to give my target a painless death. Not, because I'm nice, but because I don't want to remember my first death as a bloodbath. Because I didn't want to wake up and see their terrified face every morning.

**Memories**

I made my way to China thinking of Alexzandra's words. My mission was to kill a child in the Hunan Providence. What was difficult was that my family died in the Hunan Providence. Alexzandra was correct, life only got harder.

It was night outside as I silently made my way into my targets house. I made my way up the stairs avoiding any squeaky stairs. I entered I kid's room. He was sleeping peacefully in his bed with his arms folded on top of his stomach. He was smiling. Probably having a good dream. I never had one the past few years. I gave a little smile, at least someone was enjoying their final breath.

I pulled out my gun. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. I walked away. I shot his head. I didn't need to look to know. I know because I aimed it there.

I looked back at the body right before I climbed out the window. The boy looked like he was sleeping peacefully. I smiled. A peaceful death. Something everyone would want. I turned around and jumped. I ran. I didn't turn around once to look at the Hunan Providence as I ran to the extraction point.

**Memories**

On my ride back to Russia, I stared out the window and pictured the dead boy that was lying on his bed just to be discovered. Where ever I looked, I saw that boy's face.

Finally, we returned to the Red Room. I climbed out the car and immediately went to my room. When I entered, I saw Alexzandra sitting on my bed looking at a picture. I tried walking towards her without getting caught, but of course, her well-trained ears heard movement. She turned towards me.

"Chloe, how was your…mission?" Alexzandra asked in English. She has always had a way with words. She knew how to make me feel comfortable.

"Fine," I answered in English. We didn't have many conversations in English. Then again, no one really speaks English anymore. Probably because Natasha Romanov managed to get out of the Red Room alive and went to side with the Americans. Guess her betrayal effected the whole Academy.

"Aren't you ever curious?" Alexzandra asked looking ahead.

"Curious about what?" I asked.

"Your family. Where you came from. You never ask about them."

"Probably, because I'm always surrounded by my family every day."

"You are one of the few assassins who actually consider us family," Alexzandra laughed.

"Well, what can I say, everyone does love me," I smiled mischievously.

"Yes, I can't imagine one person who would hate you."

"Agreed."

"Good night, Chloe." With that she left my room, but not before leaving the picture she was looking at on my bed.

Once she closed the door, I picked up the picture. It was a picture of a family. A happy one. It was a picture of a baby sitting on a man's shoulders with a woman in the background all smiling. I flipped the picture over to see the words: Chloe Wang and family before…

I looked at the picture again. I never saw my parents before. They looked happy. I wonder, would I be happy like them if they were still alive?

Guess I'll never know.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry I haven't been updating. I've been having a writer's block on what memories I should write about. If you guys got any other ideas, it would be great.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. All credits go to the Marvel universe.

"The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have." –Ring Lardner

I never had a normal childhood. I never had a mom, or a dad, or a brother, or a sister. I never had someone who would always be there. No matter what.

I grew up around killers. I was trained by killers. I am a killer. As I grew up I never expected to have a family. I never expected to have a mom. A dad. A sister. Or a brother. I never wanted one. I was too blind by the fact of having a normal family that I didn't realize that I already had a family watching my back.

**Memories**

I was on my way back to my room from my third mission. I had to kill a Russian teacher. Apparently he had a history with killing female Red Room assassins. According to all of the autopsy reports, all of them were tortured with their own weapons severely before they died. Usually a single 9 millimeter slug to the head. They were risking it sending me in to eliminate him. I still don't get why they couldn't send one of guys in. But I they were counting on him to take a slight liking in me so that I could get close enough to give him a quick and quiet death. To tip him off, I would be going in as a new student in his class. It was stupid but it was worth a shot. But to my luck, the dude wasn't even likable. First off, he had a horrible sense of humor. Secondly, he talks in an annoying squeaky voice. Thirdly, he is the stupidest person I have ever met. And that's saying a lot. I don't even know how he is even qualified to teach kids anything. I don't even realize how he could have killed any assassin. He didn't even realize I had a gun sticking out of my right boot. Even Snooki could have figured that out. Anyway, after class I had to stay behind after class to kill him. So I did. I stayed behind asking for some study materials to help with the test coming up. He went behind his desk for something. As he searched for some stuff, I reached for my gun. The next time he looked up, he was met with a bullet between his eyes. Before anyone could enter the room again, I climbed out of the classroom widow and traveled through the camera blind spots. It was a pretty easy mission if you ask me. I mean, a rookie could have pulled it off, but what can I do about it? I just take orders.

I was five doors away from my dorm when I realized that something was up. First of all, my door was left ajar. I never leave it unlocked. Secondly, the lights were off. I know for a fact that I left the lights on before I left. I reached for my gun.

I kept my gun steady in front of me as I opened the door. I began clearing the room. I saw movement in the right corner of my room. I slowly walked towards it. The person was crouching behind my bed. As I walked towards the person, I said, "Выходите из за кроватью медленно. Ничего не попробовать, потому что я, не колеблясь, стрелять в вас (Come out from behind the bed slowly. Don't try anything because I will not hesitate to shoot you)."

"I don't doubt that for a second Skye. Now it would be very kind of you if you put the gun down and turn on the lights please," Alexzandra suggested. I did as I was told and put away my gun as I turned on the lights. I looked around to see that Alexzandra was the only one in the room.

"Happy birthday, Chole."

"Birthday?" I asked. No one in the Red Room celebrated birthdays. If you were lucky, then you would know your birthday, but that is not the majority of us.

"Yes, it is your sixteenth birthday. Happy birthday," Alexzandra said as she handed me a dagger. It has intricate designs on the handle of the handle. I knew this dagger. I would've recognized it anywhere. It was Alexzandra's.

"Alexzandra…" I began.

"It's yours now. Keep it," Alexzandra cut me off. I just stared at the dagger in awe. Alexzandra never let anyone near her dagger. Let alone touch it.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" I said jumping up and down with joy. My first real gift.

My biological family may have died during a Red Room mission, but my real family was here. Alexzandra was my family.

**PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING YOU DO! PLEASE REVIEW!**

(Hey! That Rhymed!:D )


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hey guys! I know I haven't been good job updating any of my stories. Honestly, I have been running out of ideas on other memories. If you guys could give me some ideas it would be great.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the storyline and Alexzandra's character. All credits go to the Marvel universe.

"A friend who dies, it's something of you who dies." –Gustave Flaubert

Death. Death is a funny thing. Some people die in vain. Others die in honor. To strangers, the deaths of these people are…unimportant. They just walk away like nothing happened. After all, people die every day, right?

But what about the people who knew the ones who lie dead in the ground. Those people are shown pity. Unwanted pity. After a while, it's back to business.

In the Red Room, assassins die every day. It makes no difference. People don't grieve here. They just remember how their fellow assassins died in battle and making sure that they do not make the same mistakes they did.

Yet, Alexzandra's death was no accident. It was murder. Cold-blooded murder. She made no mistake. She was just simply overpowered by the Black Widow. The one who defected over to S.H.I.E.L.D. That wasn't the thing that bothered though. It was the fact that Natalia Romanov and Alexzandra Demitriv were like sisters. They trained together. They danced together. They grew up together. Natalia Romanov killed the closest thing she had to a sister. She didn't even show any mercy.

Before her mission, Alexzandra walked up to me. "I have to go. Крепитесь мой ребенок (Be brave my child)." Alexzandra gave me a brief hug which I returned. Before she turned and walked towards the motorcycles she and the Winter Soldier would be taking, she gave me a long look that was filled with love and doubt. "Вы моя семья и всегда будет, Chole. Не позволяйте никому говорить вам разные (You are my family and always will be, Chole. Don't let anyone tell you different)." With that she walked away. Little did I know that I would never see Alexzandra, the closet thing I had to a family, ever again.

**Memories**

Exactly eleven hours and twenty two minutes passed since the Winter Soldier and Alexzandra were deployed on their mission. I waited just as I saw one motorcycle making its way towards the base. I was hoping that it was Alexzandra on that bike, but as it came closer, I realized it wasn't Alexzandra. Alexzandra didn't make it. It was the undefeatable Winter Soldier.

I didn't move. I didn't want to move. I wanted to hear the story. The story of who killed Alexzandra. The story of _how _they killed Alexzandra. So I could avenger her death and kill her killer the exact same way she had died.

The Winter Soldier got off his bike and strode over to me. "Она умерла почетное смерть(She died an honorable death)," he said. I know that. Alexzandra was one of those people who would risk her life to save others. She was the one who knew the power of self-sacrifice. The Winter Soldier continued, "She told me to tell to tell you to remember what she told you before she left and gave me her necklace to give to you." He handed me Alexzandra's necklace. I remembered her last words to me. I was her family as she was mine. That would never change.

"How?" I asked. I needed to know how she died.

The Winter Soldier looked at me before answering as if searching for the right words. "Her sister killed her when Alexzandra wouldn't move. Alexzandra was shielding me. Natalia tried shooting through her to get to me, which worked," the Winter Soldier gestured to his bullet wound in his torso that has been taken care of. "But Alexzandra bled out before I could do anything. I am sorry I couldn't save her." With that, the Winter Soldier left leaving me standing their standing at Alexzandra's necklace.

**Memories**

I continued my training under the Winter Soldier. I guess part of it was because he felt like he owed Alexzandra. He pushed me harder than he had pushed anyone. I didn't complain. I would have to be better than the Black Widow if I wanted to destroy her.

Some days I wouldn't sleep. I would stay up all night punching the punching bag. Eventually I became the best assassin the Red Room had ever seen. Yet the Winter Soldier still trained me to be the best. He wanted to see me put him down. I managed to do just that. Multiple times actually. Because of him I realized that I didn't have to be stronger or a better fighter that my opponent, I just had to be faster.

**Memories**

"Love is for children". Everyone in the Red Room knows that. The person you are attached to is a weakness. I guess the fact that Natalia Romanov was her sister was her weakness. And was the death of her. As for my weakness, with Alexzandra gone, I have none left. I don't know what to do. I am lost. Alexzandra wasn't just family. She was a friend. She was a mentor. She taught me ever thing I know. I need to avenger her death. I need to kill the Back Widow. I owe her that much.

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	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All credit goes to the Marvel Universe.

"Our dead are not dead to us, unless we have forgotten them."-George Elliot

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Years have passed since Alexzandra's death. Life just got harder. Training got harder. Missions got harder. For some reasons, everything I do just become harder. I was lost. With Alexzandra gone, I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I just wanted to go back in time and spend more time with Alexzandra. To train with her. Laugh with her. To spend time with her. I guess it is true that you don't realize what you have until you lose it. But not once did I stop what I was doing to grieve Alexzandra's death. Not once did I forget her. Not once did I want to.

Some days I would just close my eyes and just picture her face. Her straight black hair pulled back in a high ponytail. I remember her mismatched eyes, one blue and one green, looking down at me. I can still remember her small circular nose ring shining in the sun. And her sly smirk that she only has when she has an idea that could end up in something blowing up. Not once did I ever think that I would ever have to live a day where I wouldn't have to see that face.

These days I can never sleep at night. Every day, in the middle of the night, I would wake up in cold sweat never remembering what my dream was about. Each night I would find myself sitting upright with my nails dug into my hands. It would be deep enough for me to draw blood. By the time I took my nails out, my palms would be dripping with blood.

Once I wake up, I can never go back to sleep. I would climb out of bed and head for the bathroom. I would strip of all my clothing and hop in the shower. Once I was done, I would head over to the sink and run my hand under cold water until I stopped bleeding. I always found the combination of blood and water fascinating. The way they swirl their way down the sink. The way they become the perfect shade of pink. I would then dry my hands off and make sure I dab the area around the wounds. I would then grab my first aid kit and disinfect and wrap my arm up. I would then walk out of my bathroom and throw on my workout clothes and put my hair in a high bun. After I was ready, I walked out of my room.

This has become an everyday routine for me. Wake up. Wash up. Workout. It never changes.

As I slipped out of my room, I made my way quietly down the dimly lit hallways to the gym. Thankfully, no one was in the gym when I entered. Then again, they never are. I immediately headed to the punching bag that was across the room.

A few moments passed before Alexazndra popped up beside me. "Расставьте ноги врозь более (Spread your legs apart more)," she ordered. I obeyed. An angry Alexzandra was not someone you wanted to mess with. At least not in your right state of mind. "(Chin up. Prove to your opponent that you are superior)." I lifted my head higher. "(Punch harder and faster)." And so I did. I followed her orders until the newbies came in for training. I punched and kicked. I perfected my form. As the newbies, came in, they formed a circle around me and stared at my form at awe.

As the clock struck 0500, I stopped. I turned around to face Alexzandra. She smiled and said three words before she disappeared faster than she came. "(I am proud)."

I smiled. She never complimented anyone. She didn't have any favorites. She treated everyone equally. She was a second mother to everyone. She helped everyone. You only had to ask. Unlike most of us here, she was human. She had emotions. She could always find a way to make you smile. Even through the hardest times. She was the perfect soldier. Nothing could make her stop smiling. Nothing could stop her from helping the broken. It was her gift.

Yet no one understands how I turned out the way I am. She treated me like a daughter, if not an equal. Yet, I do not smile as much, or talk. It's like we're two different side of a magnet. I guess it's because of all the evil she has seen in the world. Her smiles and laughs are just a mask for a person who has seen way too much evil for her to handle. I guess that side of her only comes back when she is on her missions.

I don't smile. I don't laugh. I just follow orders. I became the soldier Alexzandra would be proud of, or so I'd like to think. I don't kill without reason anymore. I only kill the ones I have to and incapacitate anyone else in the way. I avoided killing as much as I could. I didn't want a person to go through what I have been through. I didn't want a kid to have the one person they ever looked up to just to be snatched away from them. Because of this, I became a better person.

Every now and then, Alexzandra would pop up, give me advice, and disappear just as quickly. Each time I see her, I always yearn for her to stay. To make up for all those times I pushed her away. It is now that I realize what being lonely truly felt like. Not having someone to talk to. Not having a friend that you can lean on. Now I truly feel like an orphan.

Alexzandra has taught me many things. She has said many things. Done many things. But one thing has always stood out to me. The way she described life. She called a phoenix. Each time it rises again means a new choice to be made. Each time it dies, another decision made. She may have died, but her lessons will always exist. In my mind. In my actions. In my words. I will never forget because it is because of those lessons I am who I am today.

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**And if you want more memories like this, then give me some ideas. Other than that, the squeal to this, The Red Room: Who Am I, will be posted soon. :) :D 8) 8D...**


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